Rainbow

The loss community has a lot of terms to describe children born at different points in relation to their loss. “Sunshine babies” are those born before a loss.  “Angel babies” are the ones lost.  “Rainbow baby” is the term for a pregnancy/baby born after a loss (miscarriage, stillborn, infant loss).  There are mixed feelings regarding … Continue reading Rainbow

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14 Months

Fourteen months ago we lost our sweet Asher.  These monthly milestones of time passing have lost a bit of their significance since the passing of the one year mark.  I feel guilty about that.  That whole first year without him, I knew the one year was a huge milestone just looming out there in the … Continue reading 14 Months

Guilt

Can I be honest about something? I feel guilty for being pregnant right now. The last thing I want to do is cause pain to those who are struggling to get pregnant, those who have had a loss, or those who are struggling after loss. I feel guilty because I get it. I’ve been there … Continue reading Guilt

January 24

** This was written on January 24, 2018.** 6 weeks. First ultrasound. This being our third go around, we knew that 6 weeks is really the earliest that you can see a baby and their heartbeat. Lots of pressure. It’s not just an abstract idea that one is pregnant. It is confirmed visually that there … Continue reading January 24

Five Year Anniversary- Open letter to Hubby

Today is our 5 year anniversary.  We celebrated the milestone by going away lastweekend to the beach.  Originally we didn’t plan on going anywhere because we were supposed to have a newborn, but things changed and we decided we deserved the time away.  Asher was never far from our thoughts and reminders of him were … Continue reading Five Year Anniversary- Open letter to Hubby