So I haven’t updated in a long time on where we are at in our treatment process and there is a reason for that. As I said before, we took some time off from treatment. After the D&C, I finally got my period on July 4 and we decided to take that month off since we had vacation scheduled and we just needed a break from doctors and needles. We planned on starting treatment again in August after I got my next visit from Aunt Flow.
But Aunt Flow never came because……
On our chalkboard in our kitchen for the past 8 months, I have had this bible verse written.
“God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to your life” Romans 8:28
He truly did that for us. The miscarriage and infertility struggle was absolutely devastating. But, that miscarriage made me more fertile (as the doctors say they can do) and able to get pregnant naturally without the assistance of fertility treatments.
Everything with this pregnancy has been different than the last. No weekly ultrasound appointments because things weren’t progressing as they should. We actually got to hear and see the heartbeat at 7 weeks. The heart rate was 138. Two weeks later, we had another ultrasound and the baby had arms and legs (it looked like a little Gummi bear and it moved!). The heart rate was 180. Then, we were released from the fertility doctor and transferred to regular OB.
We had our first OB appointment on 10/4. That month long wait between appointments was rough. Once I passed 12 weeks, I wanted to tell everyone but I needed confirmation everything was okay first. At the appointment, the doctor used a Doppler to listen to the heartbeat (Hubby was disappointed because he thought we would get to see the baby with an ultrasound at every appointment. I had to explain that some people only see the baby at the anatomy scan at 20 weeks.). She found the heartbeat right away. She said it was good and strong. Finally, we could share the news! YAY!
We did an announcement shoot because this was a big deal for us. We had been through a lot to get to this point and I wanted to acknowledge that. It didn’t happen easily or without struggle for us. I also just wanted to have a some nice photos with Hubby, puppy, and myself, just us three. We haven’t had professional photos taken since our wedding and none that included our furry child. Side note: He wasn’t in many of the pictures because he is not the most well-trained dog. But I don’t think I could’ve been more proud of him than in the picture above. He does not sit on command (He failed out of doggie training as a puppy because he could never master sit!). We brought treats to get him to do it but he was scratching at my legs and didn’t want to sit next to me. Then, he suddenly just sat and looked straight ahead at the camera for an extended period of time! It was a miracle! He never does that. Proud mommy moment there!
We are both very excited! I never realized how much our struggle had really affected Hubby until we had this positive test. He was so hesitant and refused to let us get ahead of ourselves with this pregnancy. It showed how much he suffered with our past loss. He never really shared that pain with me since I was the one who had to physically go through it all. It’s wonderful to see him finally be able to get excited about this. He was so happy after our appointment. He was just bursting to go to back to work and share the news with his coworkers.
I will continue to keep you updated on this whole pregnancy thing with my thoughts and feelings as things progress. Thank you for all of your support and love with everything!
****To all my TTC sisters****
There is a reason that my last post was about the fact that infertility changes you and stays with you. I was pregnant at the time that I wrote that (obvi) and still my eyes welled with tears. I may be pregnant but I will never forget everything I felt during our struggle. I will never forget all of the wonderful people who reached out and helped me in my darkest times. Please know, that even though I am pregnant, I am still here. I can still relate to your struggle and I am still willing to be a sounding board and a shoulder to lean on. My infertility buddy was pregnant when I struggled and suffered a miscarriage. She was just as helpful to me pregnant as she was when she was struggling herself. If you don’t have any friends who can relate to your suffering, it can be a lonely and difficult struggle to get through. Please do not hesitate to reach out and remember you are definitely not alone. 🙂