Update: Today’s appointment

I am updating so quickly because I know so many people were thinking of us today as we had another follow up appointment. Some people were praying for a miracle for us (I know a few of my coworkers were); but unfortunately, the only change in the last week was a negative one. Baby no longer has a heartbeat (as expected).

Surprisingly, the only time I teared up during the whole appointment was when the ultrasound tech came and sat with me in the waiting room, prior to the actual appointment, as I waited for Hubby to arrive. She gave me a hug and said she has been thinking of me all week. I said thank you but unfortunately, (and as much as I hate using my husband’s catch phrase) it is what it is. There is nothing that could be done to prevent or stop it from happening. I told her I am just hoping it passes naturally so I can avoid having to make a decision between the other two options.

During the ultrasound, the tech zoomed in to confirm that there wasn’t a heartbeat. She said that it does appear, by the looks of everything in there, that things are starting to breakdown which is good for me, if I want to try for a natural miscarriage. However, she did say that the sac had not moved towards the cervix like it would to indicate it would happen soon. She gave me another hug and said “ I know this doesn’t provide much comfort, but at least you know you can get pregnant.” And it is true. We struggled for 18 months with not one positive test. We finally got one and that is positive news. We know it can happen for us at least.

We then had the follow up conversation with the doctor. She expressed how sorry she was and also how sorry she is that this whole pregnancy has been difficult and prolonged for us. We went over the three options of miscarrying that we had.

1) Wait and See – The doctor said that your body WILL get rid of this on its own. She said that she isn’t concerned about the risk of infection for me and that I can wait and see if it happens naturally. However, there is no guarantee when it will happen and it can take a month. She said with that comes the psychological side effects of knowing your baby isn’t there and just waiting.

2) Misoprositol – This medication is actually used to treat stomach ulcers but one of the side effects is miscarriage. She stated that they can be taken orally but she would not recommend it because that way is awful. They would fill a prescription and insert 4 of them (you know where) to induce the miscarriage. They would also prescribe a pain medicine (Percocet or Vicodin) to alleviate some of the cramping. She said usually within 2 hours of having the medication inserted, you will experience cramping and within another 4 hours the worst of it will have passed and you would go on to have normal period bleeding for awhile. I told her how I read blogs where people said they felt like they were dying. She said it can be very painful. She has had some patients who have not had problems with it and others who experience the worst of it. She said it is 85% effective and if it is not successful the first time, they will prescribe a second dose. If that is not successful, then it is D&C. Heavy bleeding can happen with the medication. I also stated how I saw a lot of women had taken the medication, had excessive bleeding and then had to have an emergency D&C. She said that isn’t common but it can happen. I am further along in this pregnancy than most and that I could have excessive bleeding and experience more of the worst part of the medication. Her view on the medication is that she is “bipolar” about it. It does work but it is not a pleasant experience for most.

3) D&C – This is a surgical procedure in which they put you under IV sedation and either scrape or vacuum out the contents of your uterus. It is the most effective way of removing all of the pregnancy tissue. It is a 15 minute procedure that can be done in their office. I would sleep through it and wake up with the worst of it over. I asked about the complications of scar tissue or more infertility issues. She said that scar tissue occurs within about 2-5% of cases and that so far, in their practice, they have not had anyone who has had this complication.

I explained that I would like to see if it passes naturally, up until a certain point. The embryonic demise happened sometime within the last week since we had a heartbeat last Tuesday. So, it could still be fairly new and my body may just need time to catch up to start the miscarriage process. I was planning on doing the medication to avoid a surgical procedure but after reading the horror stories yesterday, I am terrified of being put through pain and the possibility of still having to have the surgery. The doctor explained that is very unlikely. But she said that if I were her sister, she would recommend that I wait a week and see if it starts on its own. If not ,she would recommend having a D&C.

We left the office with the plan to keep the doctors informed of any progress this week. If I start to cramp or bleed, let them know. If nothing happens by Friday, I will call them and we will move forward with either the medication or scheduling the D&C for next week.

After having my list of questions answers (I would always get yelled at after each appointment by my friend who did IVF because I would never ask questions. I went in today with a list of them!), I am leaning more towards having the D&C. In the grand scheme of things, it seems as though it will be the least physically painful option for me. Emotionally, each option is painful but physically, I will feel better within a day and able to go back to work.

I am still hoping that it happens naturally and it doesn’t come to that but I am comfortable with my decision. If anyone has had a D&C and has any advise or words of wisdom, please feel free to email, text, or private message me your experience. It would help me to know that others made a similar decision and were happy with it.

***Side note: Funny story about the Doggie: Last Tuesday after our horrible day, my dog decided to make it even worse by pooping on the floor in the middle of the night. I, of course, stepped in it in the middle of the night on my way back from the bathroom. His accident was our own fault. Normally, he goes to the bathroom every day around 5:00pm when I get from work and take him on a walk. That day we never took him for a walk because were so wrapped up in our own misery. We were being negligent parents and I blame us for his accident.

Yesterday, he had his afternoon poop around 3pm. So I thought we were good and we never took him on a walk. Well, that must not have been good enough because he pooped again in the middle of the night again, only this time Hubby stepped in it when he woke up this morning.

It’s like he can sense when we are having or going to have a bad day and he just wants to add some more poop for us to deal with. Thank god he is a cutie!

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Look at this little 💩 But I do love his face!

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2 thoughts on “Update: Today’s appointment

  1. Lauren Brueck says:

    Hi Amy, my name is Lauren Brueck. I am friends with Megan Nice, I actually teach with her, and she gave me your blog to look at. I have been struggling with fertility for 4 years and have had numerous miscarriages and most recently a still born son. If you need some advice, or want to talk to someone, feel free to reach out to me. I can definitely share my story with you and maybe it will help you in your journey, even in a small way. You can find me on Facebook or email me (lgibbs13@yahoo.com) if you would like. Good luck with your decision, there is nothing easy about this process. I wish you peace and the strength to keep going.

    Liked by 1 person

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