Mother’s day is a day that is hard for those of us struggling with infertility. It is another reminder that we do not have children of our own. Of course, it is also a day to be thankful for our own mothers/mother figures in our lives. A day to share with them how important they are to us. It’s also a day for those who are mothers to spend time with their families. Social media becomes flooded with pictures of families and homemade gifts.
To anyone else, they seem like happy, fun photos to share. To someone struggling with infertility, it is like a tiny dagger in your heart because you want that so badly. You want to have homemade cards of painted hands and feet. You want macaroni necklaces. You want all of that and it just seems to be out of reach. You want to be happy for all of your friends and family who get to participate in the day, but you can’t help being a little upset and bitter that you aren’t partaking in the festivities.
To those of us out there struggling, know that you are a mother. You may not have your child yet….yet, but you are a mother. You are constantly thinking about your baby. You are hoping and praying. You are dreaming of the life you will have with that baby. You are taking care of yourself in order to be able to take care of that baby when it inevitably comes. Don’t let this day be a reminder that you don’t have children. Celebrate the fact that you are doing everything you possibly can in order to have a child. You are a mother. That baby is in your thoughts every day, all day even if it doesn’t exist right now.
To those of you who aren’t struggling and already have babies of your own, if you know someone who is struggling with infertility, reach out to them this Mother’s Day. As hard as they try to celebrate the day and tell themselves that they are in fact mothers, they will be feeling low. They will be sad by the fact that they don’t have a child to share this day with. Let them know that you care and support them. It will make all the difference to that person.
And lastly, to those of us who are furry mothers. Don’t tell yourself that having a pet doesn’t count as being a mother. It does. My dog is my little boy. I treat him like he is a little furry human. You are nurturing and caring for another living being, you are a mother. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!
I wish everyone a happy Mother’s Day!