Yesterday was Easter. Social media was flooded with photos of families all dressed up and celebrating the day with their children. Tons of pictures of little kiddos with the Easter Bunny, all dressed up for church, or going on Easter egg hunts. These moments simultaneously make me happy and sad. It is just another reminder that we do not have any children yet and are missing out on so many things we hoped we would be a part of. No matter how hard I try to put the thought of infertility to the side something always brings it back to the forefront of my mind. At church yesterday, the bulletin had a prayer list inside it. Someone requested prayers for their brother and sister-in-law who were struggling with infertility. It brought tears to my eyes. You can’t escape it. Yesterday was about Jesus and celebrating his resurrection but I still thought about our struggle with infertility and my heart ached.
Hubs and I hosted Easter this year with both sides of the family. It was a first for us. One that I often thought would be a first once we had a child. I knew that once we had a kid I wouldn’t want to try to do the “let’s see both families on the same day” thing anymore and that we would start to host holidays at our home. It was definitely a bittersweet day. Things went very well and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. It made me sad we didn’t have a baby there for our parents to moon over. (However, they all did love and cuddle on the fur baby. Murphy got loads of attention. He was exhausted when everyone left. Both of our mothers brought Easter treats for their grandpuppy. 🙂 So cute!)
As I said before infertility is something that I think about every, single day. But the holidays are some of the hardest days. They are reminders that more time is passing without having a child. It seemed like it was just Christmas and it is already Easter. Three months have passed and we still have not been successful at conceiving a child. I remember when we first started trying, I would think of a variety of fun ways to tell our parents that we were pregnant. If we found out around Christmas time, we could have them unwrap little baby booties as a Christmas present. If it happened at Easter, we could have them open cards that said, “ a little chick is hatching soon”. But none of that has happened for us, and so another holiday passes with no good news to share.